This is my space, sometimes it may be funny, sometimes it might be sad, sometimes you might wonder just what planet I'm from, but it will always be honest and it will always be me. Come on in and sit with me a while.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Me Too!

Ok, so I messed up and I've been 'saying' Me Too for a few days now. The truth is, I started an entry while at work and I never finished it so, that's why this has been here so long.

On to the real post though.....

I think I left off at the point in the story where we had decided on a hysterectomy. That was one of the hardest if not THE hardest decision I'd ever made. Like I said, my wish was to be a mommy. That was the one and only thing that I had ever wanted. The BaldMan and I went back and forth and back and forth before we made the decision. My heart was breaking but I knew that in the end this was the best thing for me. I called the doctor and let him know that we had decided to go ahead with the surgery. My surgery was scheduled for February 14. Yep, Valentine's Day. Yay me!
The morning of the surgery, my parents and the BaldMan were there with me. A good friend of ours is a surgical nurse at the hospital where my surgery was scheduled and she even came by to 'wish me luck'. I did make sure that the doctor knew that I wanted pictures of everything he took out. Yeah, I know that's kind of weird but, I wanted to see what had been making me miserable. I also wanted to be able to 'say goodbye'. The last thing I remember before going to sleep is the BaldMan kissing me and telling the nurses about my tattoo. (It's on my right hip...a pear - of course wearing a tiara)

When I woke up, my room was full of people. The BaldMan, my parents, my in-laws, my grandparents - even my some of my neighbors were there! I had no idea how popular I was. I was apparently pretty entertaining as well. I woke up singing and offering to et waffles for everyone. Why waffles? Why not? Everything had gone well with the surgery. Turns out that in addition to the endo that was covering my insides, there was also a bleeding cyst on my right ovary that couldn't be seen on any of the ultra sounds that we had done. The doc said that my insides looked as though someone had 'taken a baseball bat' to them and that it was actually a good thing that I had the surgery when I did. Recovery was pretty uneventful for the most part. Oh, did I mention the tape??? The doc knew that I was allergic to latex so, he made sure not to use any during the surgery but, we didn't know about the tape they used to cover my incision. Due to my allergy, the doc thought that I might also have a sensitivity to tape. He used several different kinds, paper, silk, and vinyl I think. Guess what happened then???? My second day after the surgery, I noticed that the area of my belly where my bandages were were kind of sore - like a sunburn. I asked the nurse to check them and lo and behold, I was covered with blisters. I was allergic to the tape! All of the tape wherever it had contact with my skin, there were red angry blisters. This led to the doc removing the bandages early and keeping me in bed as much as possible. We went home the next day and the blisters were even worse. The BaldMan called the doc who wanted us in his office as soon as possible. We got there and the all of the blisters had burst. Keep in mind that I didn't have anything covering my incision - just the stitches holding me together. Due to the allergic reaction I was having, the doc didn't think the stitches would hold. So he took them out, right there in his office. That was the most awful pain I had ever felt. I can't even begin to describe it. Let me just say that everyone in the office knew I was there that day! Since I couldn't have tape to 'hold' me together, and the stitches are a temporary thing, the doc decided that I would have to heal from the inside out as opposed to the outside in like most people. At first I wasn't sure what this would mean. Then the doc explained that my incision would be open and that the BaldMan would have to clean it and pack it with guaze 3 times a day. Needless to say, I was scared to death. the BaldMan can't handle changing a bandaid let alone changing wound packing and cleaning it 3 times a day. The doc showed BaldMan what to do and I really thought he or I or even the both of us were going to pass out.
As it turns out, the wound care was MUCH easier than we had anticipated. It just made my recovery that much slower. Instead of being out for 6 weeks like lots of people, I was out for 12 weeks which was ok by me. Like all new things, the first time was the worst but it got easier every time.
I went back to work and it was almost like I'd never left! I still have days where I get very very tired and from what I hear, that's pretty normal for the first 12-18 months after something like that. I'm currently not on hormone therapy or anything and so far, I'm doing well with that. All in all I'd say that even though it broke my heart and caused me to re-think ways to reach my dream, having this surgery was good for me.


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